Read: James 1:5-8
When I first started at Moody Bible Institute, I felt like I shouldn’t be there. I felt like I was the least holy and talented person at the school and didn’t see how God could use me. Everyone seemed to know so much more about the Bible, played instruments perfectly, or already had a full art portfolio. In my mind, everybody deserved to be there but me. For the first year and a half at Moody, I was consumed with the thought that everyone was miles ahead of me and I’d never catch up. I kept telling myself that I was dumb and useless and that there was no point in trying to change any of that.
During this early stage of my academic career at Moody, I craved wisdom. I wanted to understand everything my peers did. I just wanted to feel worthy. I wanted to know theological terms, how to make amazing videos, how to articulate my message, how to make a fashion statement. Essentially, I wanted to know how to have my life put-together. It seemed like everyone else knew exactly how to do these things except for me. I started falling behind in classes because I was relying on my own strength, yet I was too afraid to ask for help because I didn’t want others to think what I was already feeling about myself.
Then it all changed. I was sitting in a communications classes, trying to learn how to edit a video well, when a guest speaker came to speak. As she told her story of earning her undergraduate degree, I realized she felt the exact same way I was. A fleeting thought passed my mind: “What if I am not alone?” I realized that it wasn’t my own wisdom I needed — if I relied on that, I’d always fail. I needed wisdom from God. I needed to trust that He placed me at Moody for a reason and that only with Him would I make it through. If God wanted me there, He would supply all of my needs.
James 1:5 states, “ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” God provides abundantly. We must rely fully on Him and not on ourselves.
Although God gives generously, He has two requirements. Verses 6-7 say, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.” We must have full faith that God is able to answer our prayers. Trust that God is able to give and praise Him even when the answer is not the one you wanted.
Don’t be afraid to open with how you feel or what you are going through. Go to God first, seek Him in prayer. Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner if you don’t meet with one already. Tell them what is happening in your life. If you already have one, make a point to meet with them this week to just talk about life. God has called us to be in community with one another. Holding in our emotions about what we are going through can eliminate the chance for others to speak truth into our lives. It can make everything worse.